10 things Daddy's do...

1) Please don't come in five minutes before bedtime and wind the kids up by chasing, tickling or blowing raspberries on their bellies. This is not helpful and results in it taking mummy another half an hour to calm them down and get them to go to sleep!

2) Please don't throw the kids into the air or hang them upside down by their ankles just after they have eaten, I know I keep saying it but one day they will throw up!

3)  Please don't catapult the kids onto the bed, they might think it's funny but Mummy has just made that bed!

4) Please don't scream obscenities out of the car window at fellow road users, little ears hear everything and you can guarantee that they will choose to repeat them at just the wrong moment when they are with mummy!

5) Please don't fart infront of the kids, just because they laugh hysterically it doesn't make it alright!

6) Please don't try and pretend that you can't smell that massive poo in their nappy just so you don't have to change it, the wallpaper is hanging off of the walls!

7) Please don't attempt to dress the children again. A sparkly dress, wooly tights and wellies is not a good combination, ever, especially for messy play!

8) Please don't feed them biscuits right before dinner time, I don't care if they have given you puppy dog eyes, they know what they are doing!

9) Please don't enter into long negotiations with the one year old over whether or not she can have another biscuit, save your breath we already now how it's going to end, she always win!

10) Please don't tell the kids silly things like 'If you put a slice of ham in the DVD player it will play a short film about pigs'. We can't afford to keep replacing it.

I have joined in with Actually Mummy's linky 'wot so funee?'