Scary London

Well I did it, I went to London today all by myself. 

It was terrifying! It's just so big, with far to many people and way to easy to lose your bearings and get lost.

I very nearly bottled it and didn't go but I managed to pull myself together in the end and off I went. 

It's not like I've never been to London before, infact quite the opposite (I use to live very near by) it's just that my anxiety levels since having children have sky rocketed. 

Photo by Andor Kish

I have recently been told that I suffer with social anxiety, which basically means I freak out before, after and during any social events for no good reason. It's a nightmare but I've recently started Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to try and combat it. Which is basically a way of re-training your brain to think about things in a different way. 
I've only just started it so we'll see how it goes.

So anyway, I went to London and it all went really well. I had a lovely lunch at the rainforest cafe and met some lovely other mummy bloggers. 

We were there for a new drink product LOL by Heinz. (Review found here). 

Photo by mariosp

 I feel very proud of myself today, despite the major panic attacks I was having about going, I went and I really enjoyed myself. I feel like I've taken a really positive step forward today and I'm on the road towards feeling like my pre children more confident, self again.
I'm now going to chill out with a well deserved glass of vino (or two). x

Image by Danielle Bauer

Yummy Mummy Meme

I have been tagged in this meme by Aimee Sawyer with her blog Everything's Rosey. I haven't done one of these in ages so I thought I'd give it a go.

The rules...
When answering the questions give as much detail as possible. It's all about the finer details people!
Leave a comment on Here (Busybeemummybex blog where the meme was created).
Tag three or more people and link to them on your blog.
Tweet #yummymummy when you share on Twitter.


What is the first thing you do when you wake up?
Moan and think it can't possible be morning again, I haven't had nearly enough sleep. As far as I'm concerned mornings are the work of the devil and should be banned!

Do you shower daily? Are you an early morning shower or an evening bath type?
I try to shower everyday but it depends on how the kids are behaving. If they're in one of their naughty moods I usually wait until they go to bed and then either have a shower or a bath. We have a shower curtain instead of a screen and there's nothing worse then suddenly getting a little hand poking through it, scares me to death everytime

Do you wear make up daily?

Definitely, if I didn't I would imagine that I'd quite easily get a part in the next zombie apocalypse movie. 

I have blonde eyelashes, blonde eyebrows and very pale skin which means without makeup it's not a pretty sight

What's in your make up bag?
Pretty much everything Max Factor has ever made! 

Max Factor colour adapt foundation, Max Factor lash extension effect mascara, Max Factor lip finity brown, Max Factor lip finity red, Max Factor colour elixir red lip liner, Max Factor masterpiece mascara, Max Factor kohl pencil black, Max Factor bronzing powder, Max Factor flawless perfection blusher, Max Factor liquid eyeliner, Max Factor eyebrow pencil and Max Factor vibrant curve lip gloss. Can you tell I like Max Factor?

When your having a slummy mummy day what do you normally wear?
My black Pineapple trousers, a strappy top and my pink Gap hoodie or if it's a really slummy day my pj's (this is normally after a night out with the OH and a bit too much vino)

 

Nails - how often do you get them done?
I have never had my nails done before EVER! I'm not really much of a girlie girl (other than my Maxfactor addiction)

 

Your top tips for tired eyes?
Cucumber slices over them


Are you a Starbucks or Costa Coffee kind of girl?
I don't drink coffee or anything with caffeine in for that matter. I suffer from panic attacks and the caffeine brings them on. I know very boring!


How many children do you have/want and why?
I have two children and would have a million more though I think the OH would have something to say about that. No plans for anymore just yet though


Where is your favourite place to shop for babies/children's clothes?
Here I would love to say Next, Monsoon, Joules, Gap & Fat Face but the reality is more Tesco, Asda, Primark and charity shops. I can dream can't I?


Flats or Heels - Everyday shoes are?
Flats all the way, I just look ridiculous in heels, I can't walk in them to save my life


I am going to tag the following people in this meme, can't wait for their replies...

Rachel at Dragonfly Crafter

Single Married Mum

Chloe at A Twenty Something Mummy

Panic Attack

Yesterday was a horrible day!
It started out fine, the kids had spent the night at their Aunties and my man and I had a bit of a lie in (first in years).
We then got up, got dressed and had a nice peaceful breakfast, all lovely.
Then as we went to leave, to go and pick up the kids, I suddenly felt like I had been stabbed in the chest with a knife. The pain was unbearable, my whole chest got really tight and I couldn't breathe. Everytime I took in a breath it felt like I was being stabbed again.

I have suffered with panic attacks since I ws 16 and have learnt over time how to handle them. I'm use to the shortness of breath but I've never had pain like that before and because of that I paniced and then proceeded to have a full blown panic attack as well as the pain.
Before this I had gone nearly 4 years without a single panic attack and thought they might have gone for good, obviously I was wrong.

I don't really remember much after that, I think the adrenaline had kicked in, but I know we went to the hospital.
When we got there they did all the necessary checks, blood pressure, heart monitor, lungs etc and all came back normal.
They decided that I must have a trapped nerve either in my back or neck. I had know idea that a trapped nerve could cause you that much pain and make you unable to breathe. I had convinced myself that I was having a heart attack. Clearly I wasn't.
They said it could take up to a week before I feel better and it hasn't helped having the two little ones hanging off me all day. I feel worse now than I did yesterday. So I shall drug myself up with pain killers, fill up my hot water bottle and go to bed.
The only thing I'm worried about now is that because I have had that panic attack I now might have more, it's almost like once you have one you then have a whole load in one go. Also now that i'm worried about having another panic attack, I ultimatley will have another one becausee I'm tense and worried about having one, it's a vicious cycle.
However just getting that off my chest has helped. Does anyone else suffer from panic attacks? If so what do you do to control them?