Friday, 4 May 2012

Do all mother's lose their identity?

I was going through some boxes full of old stuff that I’ve collected over the years and came across loads of photo’s of me (pre – babies) and I can’t believe how much I have changed in such a short space of time.
Pre children I was the life and soul of a party, mine was the house that everyone use to hang out at, whether it be a massive party, a big old bbq or a sing song round the fire pit (handmade by me from an old oil drum).  Whatever the group decided to do it would be at mine and looking back through those photos reminded me just how often we use to do things like that.

Image by Jason Brown

I never spent a huge amount of time pampering etc but if I was going out for the evening I would always make an effort to make myself feel good , nowadays I would rather choice to stay in than go out at all, mainly because I can’t muster up the energy to get ready, by the time I’ve put the kids to bed all I want to do is die on the sofa with a well earned glass of vino.
Glass of red wine

 Image by Oliver323

Although looking back through those old photo’s did make me feel a slight prang of longing for my pre baby, single life it also made me realise how meaninless my life actually was. I had bounced from course to course not really knowing what I wanted to do, I’d also bounced from boyfriend to boyfriend not really wanting to be with any of them, and even with all the parties, friends and wild nights I was the most depressed and lonely I have ever been in my life.
Now however, even though I’m tired, constantly look like I’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards and  have a serious case of agrophobia, I have never been happier in my life.

Mission 172: "This morning, draw small, happy faces on all your fingers, and a big smiley face on your tummy."

 Image by Peyri Herrera

 I never really get these woman that say things like ‘Just because I have children now doesn’t mean my life will have to change’. Mainly because I don’t see how it is possible to have children and your life not to change. Whether it be having less time to spend on the way you look, constantly feeling tired or it always becoming a military operation just to get out of the house. No one plans for them to take over your life, they just do.
Finding the balance between being the best mummy that you can but at the same time still feeling like a human being has to be the hardest thing about being a mother.
"Mother with child" - statue

 Image by Darek Zon

So how much have your lives changed since having kids?


  1. My life has changed completely but I wouldn't have it any other way either. My children are older now (22, 19, 17) and are independent, dependent, and darn right fun. I have time for myself, 3 hours at the hair salon yesterday, today hubby & I had time for each other (he works shifts so is home during the day occasionally). Life is good.

    1. Thanks for the comment.
      It's good that you find time for yourself and I think it's really important and makes you a better and happier mummy in the long run x

  2. Becoming a Mummy has been overwhelming in so many ways, good and bad. I had no idea that EVERYTHING about my life would change, especially becoming a full-time Mum. You just can't explain it. The changes are physical, mental, emotional, all-consuming.
    Wouldn't change it for the world, but my god, I wish someone had warned me!

    1. I know what you mean. The thing is I know people did warn me but I just didn't listen. lol. You can never fully understand what it's like to have children until you have them x


I would love to know what you think? Go on make my day. x