Showing posts with label psychology. Show all posts
Showing posts with label psychology. Show all posts

Thursday, 13 September 2012

Mixed Emotions with Montessori

H has started at a new pre school this term (his last one closed down!) and I'm already starting to have doubts about it.
I was really excited about him starting because I loved the whole ethos that the place has. Think hippy, free play, yoga and nature. It sounded ideal, they even learn Mandarin. 

It is a Montessori nursery...

' Montessori education is characterized by an emphasis on independence, freedom within limits, and respect for a child’s natural psychological development, as well as technological advancements in society.'
RAINBOW - traditional waldorf toy
Image by Rjabinnik

My main concern started this morning when I dropped H off. All of the doors were open (as usual) so we just walked straight in, hung up his bag and put on his indoor shoes. He went straight off to play, no problems there. It wasn't until I looked around me ane realised that there wasn't another adult in sight. Just masses of little people running around, doing their free play bit. I didn't really know what to do, did I just walk off and leave him there? Should I stay and make sure all of these children were safe? What if H decided to go for a walk, they wouldn't even know I had dropped him off. (There is a signing in sheet somewhere, if you can find it!)
Image by Ian Britton

In the end I decided that maybe I was just be over paranoid as all of the other mummies appeared to be just dropping off and going. So I did the same. 
Can't say that I haven't been worrying about it all day though so I thought I'd just have a look at their ofsted report. Oh my I wish I hadn't! In brief... no CRB checks for any staff, no children observation and achievment folders, no key workers, The effectiveness of safeguarding scored inadequate and overall the quality of the provision is satisfactory.

paperwork 2
Image by Isaac Bowen
Now lets be honest here a three year old doesn't care whether he has a key worker or his own folder with chapter and verse on how he is developing. He just knows that when he goes there he has fun with his friends in a nice relaxed atmosphere. What more could you ask for for your child? 
Wooden Toy Train I
Image by Mark Tomlinson
I like to think of myself as a fairly laid back kind of person, (the OH calls me his little hippy chick) but I fail to be laid back when it comes to my childrens safety. So what do you think, am I just falling into the trap of our ridiculous modern day obsession with health and safety and ticking all of the right boxes? Is this nursery bad for H just because they're not fullfilling the government written standards on how our children should be learning?

Friday, 6 July 2012

'Quote of the Week' # 5

For this weeks theme for 'Quote of the Week' I have chosen... Judgement.

Image found on Pinterest, originally from Piccsy

 I'm fed up this week. I'm fed up with people judging me without even knowing who I really am. 
Let me explain, I look quite young for my age, I still get asked for ID so I'm persuming people think I'm about 17 when the truth is you actually need to add about 10 years onto that. 

Now you might be thinking well what the hell is she complaining about, isn't it ever womens dream to look younger than they are? Well that's all very well but because I have two children people just see me as a teenage mum. 
I'm so fed up with comments like 'but you don't look old enough to have two children' I mean REALLY! If you want to get technical about it i've been 'able' to have children since the age of 9, something I'm hoping my daughter doesn't follow suit with. It's no fun having periods at that age.

The other thing that really grates on me is whenever we go into a shop and don't buy anything the security guards look the buggy up and down as we go out the door like I might have stashed something in my childs nappy or something. Again just because I look young I must have no money and therefore I must need to steal. 

Apparently when meeting someone for the first time it takes us humans just 3 seconds to judge that person and from then on in it's very hard to get them to change their minds about you. I suppose what I'm saying here is that first impressions aren't always right and maybe we should try to take a bit more time to get to know people before judging them.

Judgement is a horrible thing and I know we are all guilty of it at some point in our lives but I just about had enough of it now. 
Anyway rant over now. I hope you all enjoy your weekend and the weather brightens up a bit and as always If you'd like to join in with 'Quote of the Week' just add your quote to the linky below.

Friday, 29 June 2012

Quote of the Week #4

Happy Friday everyone, I hope you've all had a good week. Time seems to have flown by and the weekend is upon us again.
It's time again for...

For this weeks quote of the week I have chosen the theme Intelligence.

Image found on Pinterest, Author Albert Einstein
I believe that there is no easy way to measure intelligence, for one there are many different types of intelligence. One person could be really good with numbers and formulas but can't do a simple thing like boil an egg, another person may be emotionally intelligent, making them really good with people but they can't do their times tables. So which one is the most intelligent?

A man called Howard Gardner believes that there are infact 9 different types of intelligence.

1) Naturalist Intelligence (“Nature Smart”)

2) Musical Intelligence (“Musical Smart”)

3) Logical-Mathematical Intelligence (Number/Reasoning Smart)

4) Existential Intelligence

5)  Interpersonal Intelligence (People Smart”)

6)  Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence (“Body Smart”)

7)  Linguistic Intelligence (Word Smart)

8)  Intra-personal Intelligence (Self Smart”)

9)  Spatial Intelligence (“Picture Smart”)

 So which one are you? I'd say that I'm 5 and maybe number 7. 

If we relate this to our children I suppose it's just a case of being aware that eveyone is different and everyone excels at different things. I suppose our job, as parents, is helping them to find the things they are good at and encouraging them to do them.

If you like to join in with 'Quote of the Week' then just add your post to the Linky below. (Still don't quite get it then click here)


Thursday, 14 June 2012

Scary London

Well I did it, I went to London today all by myself. 
It was terrifying! It's just so big, with far to many people and way to easy to lose your bearings and get lost.
I very nearly bottled it and didn't go but I managed to pull myself together in the end and off I went. 
It's not like I've never been to London before, infact quite the opposite (I use to live very near by) it's just that my anxiety levels since having children have sky rocketed. 

Photo by Andor Kish

I have recently been told that I suffer with social anxiety, which basically means I freak out before, after and during any social events for no good reason. It's a nightmare but I've recently started Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to try and combat it. Which is basically a way of re-training your brain to think about things in a different way. 
I've only just started it so we'll see how it goes.

So anyway, I went to London and it all went really well. I had a lovely lunch at the rainforest cafe and met some lovely other mummy bloggers. 
We were there for a new drink product LOL by Heinz. (Review found here). 
Rainforest cafe
Photo by mariosp
 I feel very proud of myself today, despite the major panic attacks I was having about going, I went and I really enjoyed myself. I feel like I've taken a really positive step forward today and I'm on the road towards feeling like my pre children more confident, self again.
I'm now going to chill out with a well deserved glass of vino (or two). x

White Wine
Image by Danielle Bauer

Wednesday, 6 June 2012

A Mother's Intuition

'The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.  She never existed before.  The woman existed, but the mother, never.  A mother is something absolutely new.'  ~Rajneesh

Today while I was doing the ironing I got a sudden feeling that I had to go into the garden where H was playing. I didn't know why I was going into the garden I just knew that I should, so I did.
When I got out there I saw that I hadn't locked the gate after I had put out the rubbish earlier that morning and H was no where to be seen! Now I don't know if you have ever lost your child for a moment but it is the worst feeling in the world. The panic sets in immediately and all of the worst possible scenarios flash through your mind.

Gate into sunshine
Photo by sasastro
I flew threw the gate and luckly he was only on the other side so I got him back in and locked the gate. It took me ages to calm down and then the relief set in. After that I didn't let him out of my sight for the rest of the day. 
Later on I thought about it again and wondered what had made me go into the garden in the first place? He quite often plays out there while I'm inside, ironing, washing or cleaning. So why today did I just know that I had to get out there?
I say it's Mother's Intuition - ('The ability to acquire knowledge without inference or the use of reason'). 

I had a similar experience when H was younger, he was playing in him room while I was tidying in our bedroom next door. Again I had a sudden urge to go into his room because something felt wrong. 
I flew into his room to find that he had climbed on top of his shelving unit and was leaning out of the OPEN window!

Photo by Amanda Tipton

  I have never been so scared in all my life. He was so young at the time and could barely walk let alone climb on top of something, therefore I hadn't worried about the open window, I just persumed he'd never get up there. Bad judgement on my part, lesson one in parenting... never underestimate your child.
So again what had made me go into his room?
Either I have a guardian angel sitting on my shoulder helping me to protect my children or I have learnt to listen to my inner voice and in doing that I have become a proper mummy.

Tuesday, 8 May 2012

The First Five Years

 The first five years of a little ones life are by far the most important in terms of their development and also for setting a good foundation of morals and values.
 'The experiences of the child during such sensitive periods may shape his or her future course of development in a manner that will be difficult to change later'. (Introduction to Psychology)
Research has also shown that the first five years are particulary important for the development of the childs brain. These early experiences will have a direct impact on how the child will develop social and emotional skills which will have an effect on them for the rest of their lives. 
'Children learn more quickly during their early years than at any other time in life. They need love and nurturing to develop a sense of trust and security that turns into confidence as they grow'. (Facts for Life)

Little Hand

 Image by Christina Welsh

'New research shows the critical impact of a child's "environment of relationships" on developing brain architecture during the first months and years of life. ' (Harvard University)

Now I don't know about you but this kind of thing really freaks me out. I have two children under 5 and I am constantly worried about everything I do with them and how that will effect them later on in life. Whether it be letting them watch a bit too much TV, sometimes forgetting to brush their teeth or losing my temper with them because they have just pushed me too far that day and then spending the entire evening feeling like the worst Mother in the world.

baby feet 3

Image by Nichole

 They say the first five years are the most crucial for the childs development but what they don'y say is that it's also the hardest years for the Mother. 
There will never again be a time where they will be so demanding of you, totally rely on you for everything from wiping their bums, feeding and clothing them to seeing to them when they wake in the night. 
So my question is, that if a Mother is already under so much pressure just to get through a day with everyone in one piece, how can any of this so called 'breakthrough research' really help us?
We already know that our children look to us for guidance and reassurance in this big scary world. We already know that to much TV is bad for them. We already know they need to eat fruit and veg everyday and we already know that we must teach them right from wrong. 
So how about trusting us Mothers to bring up our children the best we can and just letting us get on with it. They don't call it Mother's Intuition for nothing you know.

baby hand

Image by Chirastar

Friday, 16 March 2012

Follow a Newbie Friday

This week I've come across two new blogs that I've enjoyed reading.

The first is Psychology mum
This is a great blog that combines parenting and psychology. I've already used some of her techniques with my son and they seem to be working for him, so far (touch wood). Definatley worth a read.

The second is Misty
A young mum who writes about her life all coming together, including moving home and settling in. A self confessed chataholic.

I hope you have time to check out these two great blogs.
To check out other peoples choices for this week go to From Slummy to Yummy Mummy
Hope you all have a good weekend. x