A Brothers Love

When Lj was born we were really worried about how H would react to her. You hear so many horror stories about some of the things older children do to younger ones to get back at them for disrupting their home. Like ripping up their favourite teddy, locking them in cupboards or pushing them over at every opportunity. 
We needn't have worried though, from the minute Lj was born he doted on her. If there was ever an oppurtunity to give her a cuddle he was there like a shot.

Lj is always looking uo to her big brother and she copies everything he does (which isn't always a good thing!)

The poor girl is never going to be allowed a boyfriend, not if H and the OH have anything to do with it.

They do everything together and H always makes sure she is safe.

They sit and watch their program together, snuggled up by the fire.

He shows her how to do things.

It's a bond that will never die and no one will ever come between.

The Gallery - Morning

This weeks theme for the Gallery is 'Morning'. As soon as I read that I knew which picture I would use, (yes another picture of one of my children, sorry about that).

I am not a morning person by any stretch, infact as far as I'm concerned mornings are the work of the Devil. However with having kids I have, inevitably, had to get use to them. 

The best thing for me in the mornings now is hearing Lj's little voice calling "Mummy, Mummy" from the confines of her cot. I then go into her room to find her standing upright with a big beaming smile because she is so happy to see you. With all her hair stuck to her face with snot and dribble from the night before. Lovely! She then puts her arms up for a cuddle and tucks herself in under my chin and won't let go, just so she can catch up on any cuddles she's missed during the 12 or so hours that she's been asleep.

It's moments like that, that remind you what being a Mummy is all about.

To check out other people's entries this week go to Tara's blog at Sticky Fingers, you could even join in yourself. 

I've found heaven!

Yesterday, as it was the first day in what seems like months that it wasn't raining and was infact hot & sunny, we decided to make the most of it. 

The beach had to be the only option.

We've pretty much exhausted all of the beaches that are close by to us so therefore we decided to go a little further afield, and this is what we found...

 Now I don't know what you think but to me this is heaven! 
As I sat there on the beach I was thinking about how we could have been anywhere in the world but this was right on our doorstep, without all of the hasssle of passports, bags or foreign money. 
We took the fishing rods and buckets for the kids to catch fish although they didn't really get a look in with the bigger kids (a.k.a the daddies) around.

Lj was a little unsure about the whole thing, I don't think she likes the feel of the sand moving under her feet. She spent most of the time just sitting in her little chair watching everyone else. 

 

  In all though we had a great day and the kiddies were exhausted by the time we got home (always a bonus). They even slept in this morning and have gone to bed early tonight. Result!

The First Five Years

 The first five years of a little ones life are by far the most important in terms of their development and also for setting a good foundation of morals and values.

 'The experiences of the child during such sensitive periods may shape his or her future course of development in a manner that will be difficult to change later'. (Introduction to Psychology)

Research has also shown that the first five years are particulary important for the development of the childs brain. These early experiences will have a direct impact on how the child will develop social and emotional skills which will have an effect on them for the rest of their lives. 

'Children learn more quickly during their early years than at any other time in life. They need love and nurturing to develop a sense of trust and security that turns into confidence as they grow'. (Facts for Life)

 Image by Christina Welsh

'New research shows the critical impact of a child's "environment of relationships" on developing brain architecture during the first months and years of life. ' (Harvard University)

Now I don't know about you but this kind of thing really freaks me out. I have two children under 5 and I am constantly worried about everything I do with them and how that will effect them later on in life. Whether it be letting them watch a bit too much TV, sometimes forgetting to brush their teeth or losing my temper with them because they have just pushed me too far that day and then spending the entire evening feeling like the worst Mother in the world.

Image by Nichole

 They say the first five years are the most crucial for the childs development but what they don'y say is that it's also the hardest years for the Mother. 

There will never again be a time where they will be so demanding of you, totally rely on you for everything from wiping their bums, feeding and clothing them to seeing to them when they wake in the night. 

So my question is, that if a Mother is already under so much pressure just to get through a day with everyone in one piece, how can any of this so called 'breakthrough research' really help us?

We already know that our children look to us for guidance and reassurance in this big scary world. We already know that to much TV is bad for them. We already know they need to eat fruit and veg everyday and we already know that we must teach them right from wrong. 
So how about trusting us Mothers to bring up our children the best we can and just letting us get on with it. They don't call it Mother's Intuition for nothing you know.

Image by Chirastar

Have you succeeded?

A group of us were talking today about success and what they needed to do in their lives to feel like they have succeeded. 

The men all related success to their careers, how much they earnt and what cars they drive. The woman however had a variety of different answers varying from raising children, having a career, helping other people and creating a stable home environment.

I beleive my father found the best answer to the question 'What is success?'.

When I was growing up he had a poster in our downstairs toilet  with the following quote on it and to me it completley somes up what success is...

To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded  

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882) American Essayist & Poet

So how would you judge success and do you feel that you have succeeded in life?

Image by Hartwig HKD

Do all mother's lose their identity?

I was going through some boxes full of old stuff that I’ve collected over the years and came across loads of photo’s of me (pre – babies) and I can’t believe how much I have changed in such a short space of time.

Pre children I was the life and soul of a party, mine was the house that everyone use to hang out at, whether it be a massive party, a big old bbq or a sing song round the fire pit (handmade by me from an old oil drum).  Whatever the group decided to do it would be at mine and looking back through those photos reminded me just how often we use to do things like that.

 

Image by Jason Brown

I never spent a huge amount of time pampering etc but if I was going out for the evening I would always make an effort to make myself feel good , nowadays I would rather choice to stay in than go out at all, mainly because I can’t muster up the energy to get ready, by the time I’ve put the kids to bed all I want to do is die on the sofa with a well earned glass of vino.

 Image by Oliver323

Although looking back through those old photo’s did make me feel a slight prang of longing for my pre baby, single life it also made me realise how meaninless my life actually was. I had bounced from course to course not really knowing what I wanted to do, I’d also bounced from boyfriend to boyfriend not really wanting to be with any of them, and even with all the parties, friends and wild nights I was the most depressed and lonely I have ever been in my life.

Now however, even though I’m tired, constantly look like I’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards and  have a serious case of agrophobia, I have never been happier in my life.

 Image by Peyri Herrera

 I never really get these woman that say things like ‘Just because I have children now doesn’t mean my life will have to change’. Mainly because I don’t see how it is possible to have children and your life not to change. Whether it be having less time to spend on the way you look, constantly feeling tired or it always becoming a military operation just to get out of the house. No one plans for them to take over your life, they just do.

Finding the balance between being the best mummy that you can but at the same time still feeling like a human being has to be the hardest thing about being a mother.

 Image by Darek Zon

So how much have your lives changed since having kids?

Too much choice

Yesterday the other half and I were taliking about today's society and the world we live in today and how it all seems to be going so wrong.
Life these days seems to be all about what you can get and how much of it. "Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today." - Mark Twain
People seem to do anything to get to where they want to be, regardless of who they crush along the way.
I feel that we live in a 'You can have it all and why shouldn't you society'.

Photo by Colin Grey

I have decided that it's because we all have to many options these days.
We can choice to live where we were born or we can choice to live abroad.
We can choice to work for a living or get benefits.
We can choice to have children or to have a career.
We can choice to go to university or go straight into work.
We can be hetrosexual, homosexual, bisexual, monosexual, asexual, pansexual, polysexual, pomosexual and transexual. (Yes these are all real I haven't made them up.)
We can choice from the vast list of careers available today.
Before you were either a nurse, a doctor, a dentist, a nanny, a cook or a cleaner. These days there are job titles such as a computer hardware engineer, database administrator, environmental scientist, recreational therapist and urban planner.
There are now so many options for children to take at school it's mind boggling. When I was at school it was just your basic subjects, English, Maths, Science, Language, History & Geography etc. Nowadays the students can do subjects such as Chinese, Systems and Control Technology, Engineering & Manufacturing, Human Physiology and Health, Applied Business and Archaeology.
Now I'm not being spiteful because we didn't get these kind of options when I was at school but I'm yet to meet a 15 year old that knows what they want to do for the rest of their life, (my Dad still doesn't know and he's in his 50's). So surley giving them all these options is just going to confuse them even more. What's wrong with learning the basics and going on from there?

Photo by alamosbasement

We can choice what kind of mother we want to be... the pefectionist mother, the networking mother, the working mother, the stay at home mother, the mothers instinct mother, the by the book mother, the scatter brain mother, the me first mother or the complete mother.
We can choice our parenting style, authorative parenting, indulgent parenting, neglectful parenting, authoritarian parenting, child lead parenting and alternative parenting.
We can choice to be a vegetarian, a fruitatarian, meatatarian or a vegan.
We can choice to be a Christian, a Buddist, a Hindu, a Jew, a Pagan or a Jedi.
We can chose our personal image.. vintage, classic, grundge, rock, preppy, sporty, sophisticated, nautical, boho and futuristic.

I think these days we can spend so much time worrying about which choices to take in our life that life itself is actually passing us by.
I'm not saying that any of the choices I've listed above are right or wrong, I'm just saying that there's a hell of a lot of them.

In a world where women can be men, men can be woman, children can be in charge and technology rules the world no wonder we are all confused!

Photo by planetobserver

Helpful Monkeys

I have been sitting here for a while now thinking about what to write and for once I can't think of anything, so instead I thought I'd share with you a picture I took today, showing how 'helpful' my two little monkeys have been with the packing.

Mystery Slug

photo by Louise Joly

I think I am living with a slug!
That can be the only explanation for the slimy snot trails I keep finding everywhere.
Of course it's nothing to do with my 1 year old that keeps pulling herself up onto things face first with her nice runny nose.

As a family, we seem to have got every bug going this winter. Constant runny noses, persistant coughs and sore throats, you name it we've had it.
Phil and I were hardly ever ill before the babies came along and now we seem to go through medicines and tissues like there going out of fashion.

Photo by vanherdehaage

People keep telling me that it's good they are getting all the bugs now, while they're still little, less time off school when they're older.
So I suppose it's a good thing, however I do wish they didn't feel the need to share all of the bugs with us.

Great tips for new mothers

• Just before your baby is born go and get your hair done. Get a style that is quick and easy to maintain. Still look good but with less effort.
• When you go out always pack one more of each thing in the change bag. i.e. nappies, bottles, spare babygrows.
• Thinking of buying a bottle warmer - don't waste your money. If a babies hungry they'll eat anything.
• Instead of cutting babies fingernails, always a daunting process, bite them off. Babies fingernails are soft and you don't want to snip their skin. if you bite instead you can feel what's finger and what's nail.