Scary London

Well I did it, I went to London today all by myself. 

It was terrifying! It's just so big, with far to many people and way to easy to lose your bearings and get lost.

I very nearly bottled it and didn't go but I managed to pull myself together in the end and off I went. 

It's not like I've never been to London before, infact quite the opposite (I use to live very near by) it's just that my anxiety levels since having children have sky rocketed. 

Photo by Andor Kish

I have recently been told that I suffer with social anxiety, which basically means I freak out before, after and during any social events for no good reason. It's a nightmare but I've recently started Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to try and combat it. Which is basically a way of re-training your brain to think about things in a different way. 
I've only just started it so we'll see how it goes.

So anyway, I went to London and it all went really well. I had a lovely lunch at the rainforest cafe and met some lovely other mummy bloggers. 

We were there for a new drink product LOL by Heinz. (Review found here). 

Photo by mariosp

 I feel very proud of myself today, despite the major panic attacks I was having about going, I went and I really enjoyed myself. I feel like I've taken a really positive step forward today and I'm on the road towards feeling like my pre children more confident, self again.
I'm now going to chill out with a well deserved glass of vino (or two). x

Image by Danielle Bauer

Yummy Mummy Meme

I have been tagged in this meme by Aimee Sawyer with her blog Everything's Rosey. I haven't done one of these in ages so I thought I'd give it a go.

The rules...
When answering the questions give as much detail as possible. It's all about the finer details people!
Leave a comment on Here (Busybeemummybex blog where the meme was created).
Tag three or more people and link to them on your blog.
Tweet #yummymummy when you share on Twitter.


What is the first thing you do when you wake up?
Moan and think it can't possible be morning again, I haven't had nearly enough sleep. As far as I'm concerned mornings are the work of the devil and should be banned!

Do you shower daily? Are you an early morning shower or an evening bath type?
I try to shower everyday but it depends on how the kids are behaving. If they're in one of their naughty moods I usually wait until they go to bed and then either have a shower or a bath. We have a shower curtain instead of a screen and there's nothing worse then suddenly getting a little hand poking through it, scares me to death everytime

Do you wear make up daily?

Definitely, if I didn't I would imagine that I'd quite easily get a part in the next zombie apocalypse movie. 

I have blonde eyelashes, blonde eyebrows and very pale skin which means without makeup it's not a pretty sight

What's in your make up bag?
Pretty much everything Max Factor has ever made! 

Max Factor colour adapt foundation, Max Factor lash extension effect mascara, Max Factor lip finity brown, Max Factor lip finity red, Max Factor colour elixir red lip liner, Max Factor masterpiece mascara, Max Factor kohl pencil black, Max Factor bronzing powder, Max Factor flawless perfection blusher, Max Factor liquid eyeliner, Max Factor eyebrow pencil and Max Factor vibrant curve lip gloss. Can you tell I like Max Factor?

When your having a slummy mummy day what do you normally wear?
My black Pineapple trousers, a strappy top and my pink Gap hoodie or if it's a really slummy day my pj's (this is normally after a night out with the OH and a bit too much vino)

 

Nails - how often do you get them done?
I have never had my nails done before EVER! I'm not really much of a girlie girl (other than my Maxfactor addiction)

 

Your top tips for tired eyes?
Cucumber slices over them


Are you a Starbucks or Costa Coffee kind of girl?
I don't drink coffee or anything with caffeine in for that matter. I suffer from panic attacks and the caffeine brings them on. I know very boring!


How many children do you have/want and why?
I have two children and would have a million more though I think the OH would have something to say about that. No plans for anymore just yet though


Where is your favourite place to shop for babies/children's clothes?
Here I would love to say Next, Monsoon, Joules, Gap & Fat Face but the reality is more Tesco, Asda, Primark and charity shops. I can dream can't I?


Flats or Heels - Everyday shoes are?
Flats all the way, I just look ridiculous in heels, I can't walk in them to save my life


I am going to tag the following people in this meme, can't wait for their replies...

Rachel at Dragonfly Crafter

Single Married Mum

Chloe at A Twenty Something Mummy

Brush with Death

Today I was going to write a post with an update on how the potty training is going or not going in truth but then something happened. Something happened that made me realise that the 'horrible' few weeks we've been having with being up to our next in bodily fluids wasn't actually all that bad.

Today a man nearly lost his life and I witnessed the whole thing. 
We were driving down the motorway on our way to look at at new boat, the rain was literally pelting down and the spray up from the road ment you could hardly see the car infront of you. Now being a person that is trerrified of cars anyway this was my ultimate nightmare. 

Image by Vanessa Ryan

So there we were driving down the road, with me silenlty freaking out and suddenly the car infront of us just went flying across three lanes heading for the grass verge. It rolled over and went flying up in the air, rolled another 3 times and then crash onto the ground. It was horrific, like something you'd see in an action movie.

We quickly pulled over and ran to the car, at this point the only thing that goes through your head is what the hell am I going to see when I open that car door?!

I opened the door and saw the guy just sitting in the drivers seat, looking completley confused. I told he he had to get out of the car quick and we got him to come and sit in our car. He had a bit of blood on his hand, his nose looked broken and I imagine he would have serious whiplash but apart from that he didn't appear hurt anywhere else. I explained to him what had happened but I think he was in shock, he was shaking all over.

I really do not know how he survived it, he must have a guardian angel watching over him.

The police and ambulance arrived and we left after that.  

Since then I haven't been able to stop thinking about it, I just don't know how he is still alive. He had a wife and kid at home waiting for him,  and his poor wife having to get that dreadful phone call from the police saying "There's been an accident". I just keep thinking that could of been my over half.

I'm just so glad that he survived.

'Quote of the Week'

I love the written word. I love the way it can arouse a whole manner of different emotions. It can make you laugh or make you cry. Unlike the spoken word it is there forever, for you to re read whenever you feel like so you never forget what the original words were.

One of my favourite types of writing is quotes, they are short and to the point and can some up a situation perfectly in only a few words.

Because of my love for quotes and the written word I have decided to start 'Quote of the Week'.

This is how it works...

• Every Friday I will give you a theme for the week
• You go away and find a quote that relates to the theme
• You then write a post about your choice
• Finally come back here and join in with the linky

The rules...

• You must include a link to the original source of the quote
• You must state who the original author was
• Try to visit as many other entries as you can and leave some blog love
• Have fun x  

So the theme for this week (drum roll please) is... MOTHER. 

 'A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie'.  ~Tenneva Jordan

I love this quote because for me it just somes up what being a mother is all about. You have to become selfless and suddenly it's not all about you any more but it's not a problem because the satisfaction you get from making sure everyone else has got what they want far out ways you having a bit of that pie.

So now it's your turn to join in x

The black cloud

I can always feel it's presence, it's always there somewhere looming in the background. I'm talking about the Black Cloud, the Black Cloud of depression. The cloud that I seem to spend my life fighting against for no real reason. It never really leaves you.

Photo by Jonny Hughes

It is always made worse for me by bad weather, which results in me being stuck inside all day with two lively little-uns.

So today instead of giving in to it, I'm making a list of reason of why I should be happy and thankful for what I've got...

• My children are happy and healthy
• I have a man that loves me unconditionally
• We have a beautiful home in a beautiful part of the world
• We have enough money to feed, clothe and enjoy ourselves
• We live in a part of the world that is safe and not surrounded by violence
• I have recently made some lovely new mummy friends
• This day will end and hopefully the sun will come out tomorrow

Photo by gr33n3gg

A Mother's Intuition

'The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.  She never existed before.  The woman existed, but the mother, never.  A mother is something absolutely new.'  ~Rajneesh

Today while I was doing the ironing I got a sudden feeling that I had to go into the garden where H was playing. I didn't know why I was going into the garden I just knew that I should, so I did.
When I got out there I saw that I hadn't locked the gate after I had put out the rubbish earlier that morning and H was no where to be seen! Now I don't know if you have ever lost your child for a moment but it is the worst feeling in the world. The panic sets in immediately and all of the worst possible scenarios flash through your mind.

Photo by sasastro

I flew threw the gate and luckly he was only on the other side so I got him back in and locked the gate. It took me ages to calm down and then the relief set in. After that I didn't let him out of my sight for the rest of the day. 

Later on I thought about it again and wondered what had made me go into the garden in the first place? He quite often plays out there while I'm inside, ironing, washing or cleaning. So why today did I just know that I had to get out there?

I say it's Mother's Intuition - ('The ability to acquire knowledge without inference or the use of reason'). 

I had a similar experience when H was younger, he was playing in him room while I was tidying in our bedroom next door. Again I had a sudden urge to go into his room because something felt wrong. 

I flew into his room to find that he had climbed on top of his shelving unit and was leaning out of the OPEN window!

Photo by Amanda Tipton

  I have never been so scared in all my life. He was so young at the time and could barely walk let alone climb on top of something, therefore I hadn't worried about the open window, I just persumed he'd never get up there. Bad judgement on my part, lesson one in parenting... never underestimate your child.

So again what had made me go into his room?

Either I have a guardian angel sitting on my shoulder helping me to protect my children or I have learnt to listen to my inner voice and in doing that I have become a proper mummy.